Three Stupid Monkeys of Real Estate

Who is not familiar with three wise monkey! Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil! Well, those three wise characters have some very unwise siblings, those that Hear NO GOOD, See NO GOOD, Speak NO GOOD and Do NO GOOD! And who gets hurt? Stupid Monkey!

Three Stupid Monkeys of Real Estate

Since this is a true story, I will refrain from using any real names. I will only have a Wise Monkey and a Stupid Monkey, both buying there first home. Just so nobody gets upset by the "monkey" symbolism, all the characters would be monkeys here.

1. Budget

Wise Monkey gets pre-approved for mortgage and carefully watches the budget while deciding on her new home

Stupid Monkey puts an offer grossly exceeding the budget just because listing agent-monkey said it was "a good deal", gets denial from the lender-monkey, loses deposit and potentially getting sued by the Seller-monkey

2. Representation

Wise monkey conducts interviews with real estate agents-monkeys, picks one and starts the home search. After seeing 5-10-20 or whatever many homes, Wise Monkey gets comparative sales numbers from agent-monkey and places a fair offer

Stupid monkey walks into the first open house and strikes a deal with the listing agent-monkey, just because….see above

3. Location

Wise monkey carefully researches location, considering proximity to schools, hospitals, shopping, transportation or whatever else, that is important to Wise Monkey.

Stupid Monkey drives to see friends in the unknown town, walks into an open house and strikes a deal with listing agent monkey just because, see above, then 2 days later discovers this neighborhood does not suit her needs and trying to get out of the deal.

4. Home Inspection

Wise Monkey considering home inspectors recommended by friends-monkeys, family-monkeys, real estate agent-monkey, checking certifications and picks the best quality and quarantees over the price

Stupid Monkey "googles" and picks the cheapest one

5. Waiving Conditions

Wise Monkey only signs the waiver or fulfillment of condition if fully satisfied with financing, home inspection, status certificate for the condo.

Stupid Monkey just signs the waiver, even though the roof is leaking, there is mold in the basement, appliances won't work, nice fragrance of the open house disappeared and some nasty odor took its place. Why Stupid Monkey waives home inspection condition? Because listing agent-monkey who he stroke a deal with, was "too pushy"

6. Documentation

Wise Monkey carefully reads all papers and demands explanation or clarification from the real estate agent-monkey if there are any questions, doubts or concerns

Stupid Monkey just signs and starts worrying three days later

7. Outcome

Wise Monkey gets a home of her dreams and lives happily ever after

Stupid Monkey gets trouble, lost deposits, leaking roofs and as a result hates seller-monkey, home inspector-monkey, lawyer-monkey, all possible real estate agents-monkeys and lender-monkey.

The point is – it is ok to make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes, but when Stupid Monkey discusses all of the above points prior, agrees that it all makes sense and then goes out and does the opposite… Angels Crying….

Compliments of Marina Gavrylyuk
Real Estate Agent with Sutton Group Summit Realty


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